Nachmo, Day 20 - Process Shift (The Tech I'm Using)

I've been slowly changing how I write choreography throughout the month.

 

Since 2012, I've written all my dances out on lined looseleaf first, then either transcribed them into Benesh Movement Notation (ballet/jazz) or typed them into Pages (tap dances).

This month though, I started using my Rocketbook erasable notebook. Since it's set up to scan the pages directly to my email, that way I could continue writing by hand like normal, and then immediately have no-effort digitization AND email backup in one fell swoop. And it does work well. But the Rocketbook has limited pages and I was choreographing faster than I was uploading/backing up.

 

I sort of accidentally fell into this habit of jotting down choreography notes in the Notion app on my phone whenever I didn't have the Rocketbook on me. Then I'd continue working on the notes in Notion on my laptop, with the iTunes/'Music' miniplayer in the corner.

Two days ago, I discovered that if you hover the cursor over the miniplayer and scroll, you can scrub through the song without having to click back and forth between Notion and iTunes.

That absolutely changed the game.

Now I can keep the cursor in one place (hovering over the scrub bar) and replay 8 counts to my heart's content, while simultaneously typing notes without the extra hassle (yes, I know exactly how 'first world problems' this sounds) of clicking back and forth between the two (and forgetting which one was selected before starting to type). This means I'm losing my train of thought WAY less, and the fact that I'm doing a show on my lived experience with memory loss should tell you how frustratingly easy it is to lose my train of thought... and how difficult it is to find my train of thought again once I've lost it.

This tiny change has launched me into creative hyperspeed. I'd already half-taught my devices not to autocorrect my tap dance shorthand so I'm not facing that friction much. I'm also not sweating the specific counts as much as usual (mostly for the sake of doing a lot of output during Nachmo proper), replacing specific subdivisions with timestamps because those are MUCH easier to find when you're dealing with jazz music. I just don't have the brain space or energy to try to find the 1 and hold a very fleeting idea in my head long enough to figure out which sixteenth count I'm starting the step on while following the saxophone melody. I'm NaNoWriMo-ing this thing. Get it in writing and figure out the pacing later. I've always let the music's own dynamics and rhythms inspire me, so I'm hoping with the help of the timestamps I'll be able to hear what I was thinking later.

As far as stats, so far today I've done almost three minutes' worth of choreography. I've just finished the song I was on, and that officially brings me to the 30-minute mark of the show -- or, my goal for Nachmo 2025. Obviously, we're going to keep going and see how far we get. Maybe choreographing the entire 54-minute show in a month isn't entirely out of reach after all. I hadn't planned to speedrun creation and production the way I did with Sottovoce, and I think it might be harder to do such a thing this time. The things that made Sottovoce so unconventional for me were the things that made it forgiving... I was suffering with memory loss even then, but the lack of set music meant I could hide the blank spots in editing a little bit (that's why the editing in Sottovoce is so janky. Almost every single cut in that film is covering a 2-3 minute mental blank). Here, I am working with set music, and while that may make it easier to memorise, that will mean I actually have to know the choreography, at tempo... all 54 minutes of it.

I do notice that letting my work breathe/not choreographing at the absolute cutting edge of my ability (as of 2019) means I cover more musical ground a lot faster, and hopefully it'll be easier for my broken brain to actually learn it. I'm only hoping it's not too boring for the audience.

Creative Brain Is Being A Jerk

You know what's annoying?

When you haven't done any substantial amount of choreography for like three weeks and then you put yourself on a guilt trip to catch it all up because you don't have forever but every time you so much as click on the iTunes window you fall asleep, even if it's still five hours before your regular bedtime. And then after several weeks of this nonsense your frustration grows to the point where you're thinking 'why do I even bother putting in all that effort to waking up in the morning with intent to do something with my life if my stupid brain is going to put me to sleep every time I want it to do what it was created to do in the first place?'

I think that must be one of the most annoying things in the world.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm not supposed to ever ever ever choreograph Glory To The King... which makes me sad, because it's a fantastic song which totally screams for jumping and high kicks and jazz hands and general all-round joyful exuberance. (In fact, I'm thinking I'll feature this song for Music Day this week, if I still remember by Friday.)

What Would I Have Missed?

June 30.

It was two years ago today that I nearly lost my life in a car accident.

I didn't know the date at the time (I'm often lucky just to know what month it is). But since that week it's been etched into my mind. Hardly a day goes by where the memory of June 30, 2010 doesn't nudge at my consciousness.

I feel, in a way, that I've been given a 'bonus life,' like in a video game. Especially in the first year after the accident, I would hear the name of the date and my first thought would be, 'the day I died,' in the same casual way I associate certain dates with friends' birthdays. It took conscious thought to remember that I hadn't died (actually I hadn't even been seriously injured).

It was such a catalyst. Before the accident, I was depressed, numb to everything, at times suicidal -- in fact, just that Sunday I had been poking out of habit at the idea of suicide again, in the wake of some especially cutting words directed at me by a member of the youth group, whom I had previously considered a friend.

But on June 30, laying in that hospital bed, completely immobilised as I waited for them to take x-rays, thinking about the events of an hour before and what could have been -- suddenly I realised I wanted to live. I've not been suicidal since.

As I lay there I wondered, what if I had died? What would I have left?

That set me into a completely different mindset. If it was not yet my time to die, then what was I supposed to do with my life until it was?

Starting 1 July 2010, I pursued the answer to that question like a madwoman. It's become a bit of an addiction, that question... What am I supposed to do with my life? This year? This week? Today? This moment?

My searching and praying pointed to my passion for dance, but that's too long for this post. It also pushed me deeper into encouraging other people and other things as well.

Today, though, on the two-year anniversary, I started thinking -- what would I have missed? What have I experienced since that day that I wouldn't have if I been five inches further into the intersection at the time of impact?

I would never have seen my little brother (six months old at the time), learn how to walk and I would now be missing watching his vocabulary increase at a daily rate.

I would have missed two years of dance by now (going on three).

All those dances in my head, those pieces of choreography I kept reviewing over and over in my mind so to keep them fresh until I knew how to write them down -- those would have been gone. Sing Your Freedom, You Are The One, King Of Kings, Apathy Alert, The Gift, Them -- those would never have been composed or written down (now that I think about it, I didn't even know any of those songs at the time).

The novels Reuben, Rebecca's World, Chasm, Hidden Beauty, and Kidnapped would never have been written, even in rough draft form.

I would never have gotten to own this MacBook.

I would never have been introduced to Lecrae, classicchristian247.com, or (gasp!) White Heart. (No wonder I was depressed -- the White Heart content in my brain was low.)

In a similar vein, I would never have gotten to witness the release of John Schlitt's The Greater Cause (just ordered my copy today!).

I would never have been able to graduate.

I would never have gotten to experience for myself the peace and joy the Holy Spirit gives (another story for another post).

I would have missed last night's beautiful sunset.

I would have missed out on a good thousand or so fantastic songs (I found something I wrote just weeks before the accident saying I had 493 songs in my iTunes library. I'm currently pushing 2,000 and probably have another 500 tracks in my iTunes wish list -- never mind the stuff that isn't on the iTunes Store).

I would have missed my friends' wedding a few weeks ago.

There are so many others. Every moment is one I might never have seen. Every breath is one I might never have taken but for the grace of God in providing that five-inch space on 30 June 2010.

As someone who has been given a second chance, listen to me: Don't waste your life. When I woke up that morning, I would never have guessed it could have been my last.

Refreshed

Tonight I was feeling empty.

I wanted, in that just-get-started-and-once-you-get-going-it'll-be-fun way, to do some choreography, but I wasn't really feeling it.

I felt completely lifeless inside. Like there was no emotion, no soul, nothing.

Is that not the most frightening feeling in the world? That there is this moment to seize and to enjoy and to make the most of because you will never have this moment again, and you just don't care, however much you want to?

With some reluctance, I brought up the iTunes window (it never even gets closed anymore) and began to scroll rather halfheartedly through the album artwork, waiting for something to catch my attention.

What song could possibly wake me up, clear my head, snap me out of this funk?

Then I remembered a post the Kid In The Front Row made the other day, asking music-type questions of the readership (he does it a lot -- gets the readers involved, listens to their opinions. I like that). Naturally, I gave a lot of thought to it before putting in my two cents and letting the snapshot of my musical tastes of the moment be taken.

One of the questions was something along the lines of What song brightens your day when you're down? or something to that effect.

I had answered with Farrell & Farrell's People In A Box (because, let's face it, that song is so charmingly dated it can't help but make you smile). I had also mentioned Petra's Adonai.

Well... I hadn't heard People In A Box in a couple of weeks. I scrolled to it and began to play.

Then I thought, heck, why not listen to the other Farrell & Farrell song I have? And the one that Bob Farrell wrote with DeGarmo & Key that I've really been liking lately?

So I listened to the other two as well.

Hosanna Gloria and Let The Whole World Sing.

(If you liked Adonai, you will totally love these two. Unfortunately, the latter is not to be had on the iTunes Store and is only available on YouTube as a part of a live medley.)

Both are beautiful songs. The message and the passion with which it's presented smoothed out my paranoia to the point of invisibility and totally relaxed me. God is great, He is glorious, He is worthy to be praised. There is nothing to fear.

I can now tell you first-hand if you are a Christian artist and you are striving to glorify God in all you do, then your work is not in vain. It can uplift a fellow brother or sister when they need it, showing them that God is still in control, and He is still glorious. Keep singing, keep writing, keep dancing for the glory of God. He can use it even twenty-five years later in a little bedroom in rural Alberta at one in the morning to remind a frightened lagging spirit that God is still there for them to praise.

And now I'm listening to Newsboys -- Presence (My Heart's Desire); He Reigns; You Are My King (Amazing Love); and Take My Hands (Praises).


All of my life
I looked for the reason You created me
Now I realise I was given just
To sing a song of praise to Thee...

-- DeGarmo & Key, Let The Whole World Sing
(from Mission Of Mercy, Power Discs, 1983)

One Thousand

I started my first iTunes library in July 2007 on a computer that I'm not even sure works anymore. That music library has since been copied to two other computers (including the Zombie) to continue its expansion and (in part) to two iPods. I'm not sure what the first song was that I ever put into iTunes, but I've narrowed it down to one of three Michael W Smith songs (most likely).
However, I can now tell you what the one thousandth song is -- Do You Hear What I Hear? by Connie Scott. I copied it off the cassette tape and added it to iTunes less than ten minutes ago. It's actually quite exciting to reach that little milestone. Now if only I could get the Zombie working so I can sync the iPod touch and its many remaining gigabytes of free space... (the home of 693 songs; last synchronised on 23 August 2010).

In other news, The Late Great PFR on CD came in the mail today! (You know, the one I stupidly paid thirty dollars for.) Finally I was able to listen to the second half of the album. And I must say, aside from Pray For Rain and Merry Go Round, it didn't seem nearly as good as the first half. Perhaps it was because I was expecting more of the hardcore rock that had pretty well dominated Side A. It'll probably grow on me though; after all, I've only listened to it once.

The Golden Rule Of Novel Revision For Music Nerds

The Golden Rule of novel revision for music nerds who have just discovered buried musical treasure is this:

Never, never, never, never, never succumb to the temptation to Google song lyrics, paste them into iTunes' Info > Lyrics feature, and then read them the next three times you listen to the song so you learn them.
Not only does this halt all eating, Facebooking, and similar novel-revision-related tasks while you are learning the lyrics; this dramatically slows down all future productivity once you have them memorised and want to sing them while writing about deadly plagues and Y2K-like computer viruses. This is very difficult when you are listening to a rock song with an odd lyrical rhythm that demands your complete concentration to get the timing right.

Heed this advice and your novel is far more likely to survive the harsh uncharted territory of revision.
You're welcome.

Music Day?

It's Friday!
And that's Music Day here in the asylum, but unfortunately there seems to be a problem with the iTunes Store. That or the computer's acting up again.
Either way, this means I can't get at the iTunes link to the song I was planning on posting today. As a result, Music Day is postponed until the iTunes Store and/or the computer gets its act together.
My apologies for the inconvenience, and be assured that I will post the day's song as soon as I can get at the link for it, although depending where the problem lies, it may be Sunday before that happens...

How To Write A Novel: A Step-By-Step Guide

For anyone who might be wondering how to write a novel, here's a step-by-step guide to the process (updated November 2010 during the writing of my most recent novel).

1. Turn computer on. Wait fifteen minutes for the dumb thing to boot up.
2. Open iTunes, some kind of web browser, and Notepad (for plot hashing, of course).
3. Open several tabs in the web browser -- one for Facebook, at least one for your webmail, one for your Blogger dashboard, and anywhere between one and... dozens to catch up on your blog reading.
4. Read your email. Catch up on your Facebook news feed and read notifications. Ignore twelve FarmVille requests.
5. Look at list of twenty people that you really should email back.
6. Decide that you'll reply to those people later. After you've made your quota.
7. Read blogs for a half hour.
8. Refresh Facebook.
9. Get up and go to kitchen to get food. Find nothing of interest. Return to computer and refresh Facebook again.
10. Consider actually digging out flash drive containing novel.
11. Read more blogs.
12. Refresh Facebook. Write status bemoaning lack of inspiration.
13. Scroll through iTunes, trying to decide on music to listen to.
14. Remember you wanted to search for a song on the iTunes Store.
15. Search song. Add to wish list.
16. Click on interesting-looking album at the bottom of the page.
17. Preview entire album.
18. Add ten songs to wish list.
19. Click on interesting-sounding song nearby.
20. Add three more songs to wish list.
21. Check wish list.
22. Decide to buy some songs.
23. Check wallet. Find no money. Sigh and return to iTunes library.
24. Scroll a little bit more, looking for a musical selection of interest. Find nothing.
25. Go back to Facebook. Hit 'refresh.' Get no response.
26. Spin circles in desk chair for five minutes.
27. Threaten computer with hockey stick. Computer calls your bluff.
28. Bite back nasty words and check how much money is in the 'MacBook Savings' envelope.
29. Sigh. Pound desk in frustration.
30. Ctrl-Alt-Delete and kill off web browser program.
31. Wait ten minutes for computer to realise 'End Program' actually means 'End Program.'
32. Reopen web browser and all tabs.
33. Scroll through iTunes library a bit more. Narrow your current listening choices down to five different albums.
34. Get flash drive with novel out of drawer/bag/pocket/trash can.
35. Refresh Facebook.
36. Plug in flash drive.
37. Spin more circles in chair as you wait for computer to load flash drive.
38. Start playing a song in iTunes. Decide you don't want to listen to that song now. Start playing a different song.
39. Open file on flash drive that isn't at all related to novel.
40. Come up with brilliant plot twists for nine other stories you're putting off until the current one is finished.
41. Oh yes, the current novel. Go back to drive contents window.
42. Refresh Facebook.
43. Remember you wanted to update profile picture.
44. Open resource-hogging photo editing program.
45. Scroll through three folders looking for photo you have in mind. Realise it wasn't as good a photo as you thought.
46. Scroll through eleven other folders looking for suitable photo.
47. Stumble across those lovely family portraits you took three months ago and never did send to your grandmother.
48. Email photos to grandmother.
49. Do some light editing on about a dozen photos.
50. Get bored with photo editing. Decide to write.
51. Go back to Explorer window of flash drive contents.
52. Click on 'Screenplays' folder.
53. Open two screenplays-in-progress.
54. Reread them and remember why you abandoned them in the first place.
55. Correct spelling of main character's name in four places.
56. Close files.
57. Go to 'Novels' folder.
58. Open novel file.
59. Wait three minutes for Word to open and load file.
60. Refresh Facebook.
61. 'Like' two posts and comment on another.
62. Look at four or five profiles, chosen largely at random.
63. Read another blog.
64. Check email.
65. Refresh Facebook.
66. Get up and go to kitchen.
67. Look for food. Find nothing of interest.
68. Make stop at washroom.
69. Return to computer.
70. Refresh Facebook.
71. Think up potential simple math problem for a different story idea.
72. Write out problem in Notepad file, using spaces to line up columns perfectly.
73. Solve problem.
74. Forget what answer to problem was for.
75. Realise that computer seems sluggish.
76. Look at Taskbar to see what programs you can close.
77. See novel file. Bring that window to front.
78. Hit 'Enter - Tab' to start a new paragraph.
79. Watch blinking cursor for a few minutes. (Optional: Spin a few circles in chair.)
80. Decide to write blog post about lack of inspiration.
81. Refresh Facebook.
82. Write blog post.
83. Revise blog post. Extensively.
84. Publish blog post.
85. Notice typo.
86. Edit blog post.
87. Refresh Facebook.
88. Publish newly edited blog post.
89. Go back to Facebook. Realise the idiots changed the layout. Again.
90. Spend twenty minutes trying to figure out how to update your status.
91. Write angry status update about stupid Facebook developers.
92. Check email.
93. Add three sentences to novel.
94. Refresh Facebook.
95. Start playing a different album in iTunes.
96. Play air guitar, air drums, and/or air keyboard to seven rock songs in a row.
97. Refresh Facebook.
98. Pick a new album to play in iTunes.
99. Decide to actually take a stab at writing this time.
100. Start writing. (Hint: See if you can introduce a talking fish or a random fireball or something. That will help with this exercise.)
101. Get lost exploring random unrelated-to-plot thought in main character's head and manage to scrounge up 6,000 words by bedtime (meaning four AM, of course).

There you have it. Repeat this schedule every day or two and you're bound to come up with a novel eventually (as long as you work on the same file every time).
You're welcome.

Rediscovering Music And The Downside Of Shuffle

In my quest for writing music that I already own (and thus don't have to pay for), I have been going through my iTunes library song by song to see what I've been overlooking recently.
It's amazing what gems one can forget they own -- the other day I heard a song on the radio that I've always liked and thought to myself, 'I should look that up on iTunes.'
Then I remembered that not only had I looked up that song on iTunes, I had bought it. Four months ago.
It's also unbelievable what sort of trash is unearthed that one used to listen to obsessively. It's painful to listen to some of it at three years' distance.
However, the main problem with this sudden mining for gold is this: I'm discovering rather a lot of gold. And now I want to do choreography to it when I'm supposed to be writing. That or I'm too busy reading every individual line (at least the song title) and trying to decide what old neglected favourite I'd like to listen to next.
I'm rather picky about this. I can't just click 'Shuffle' and let the computer decide what I want to listen to. At first I held this opinion simply because I'm one of those purists who (generally) likes listening to an album in order, or at least certain songs in a specific order (I have dozens of playlists that I made up for this purpose that lasted about a month before they got old and I abandoned them). I also find it jarring to listen to a different artist every four minutes.
However, I also hold this opinion because once I did put my music on shuffle. I was rather enjoying not having to go back to iTunes and pick new music every ten minutes as I typically do.
After a while, it started playing a soft, slow, mild song. That was perfectly fine, but at the end of those sorts of songs, your mind's rather in the mood of a soft, slow, mild song. That and you've turned the speakers louder so you can hear it.
This was the next song.
Perfectly good song; it's been a favourite of mine for years. I just wasn't expecting that sort of intro directly after something so calm and soothing.
I wouldn't say I 'swore off' shuffling my music after that, but it was a definite contributing factor to my personal dislike of the practice. I suppose, though, if I get quite pressed for time on the novel I could shuffle my music to save time (although I doubt it'll be needed). I just hope the computer will consider my tender heart if/when I give it free rein.
But knowing this computer, it probably won't.