New Professional

 Last night, I officially signed the contract for my first-ever paid acting gig.

It's such a surreal feeling. It's an honourarium (plus transportation costs) for a small local show, but it's still a paid gig. This is exactly the thing I was striving so hard for between 2018 and 2020; the thing that literally every performing arts authority at college said I would never be good enough for.

I have officially exceeded their expectations of me. And I'm only going to go farther.

This wasn't a fluke either. I have worked with this director before (as an ensemble/nonverbal character actor), so he knew exactly what I'm like to work with -- and still hired me. (This was something that my college professor was VERY clear on -- that nobody would want to work with me because I 'don't take direction well/am too stubborn.') Not only did this director hire me, he gave me a character with lines. I would also like to point out that I did not audition for this role -- I was personally invited by the director to be a part of this production.

This show is a production associated with a MAJOR annual summer production that is known internationally (that I've also been in twice now). It's a smaller show that they've never done before, but it's well-known that the venue wants to make this production an annual one as well. The show is already completely sold out.

So I guess if being paid for my work makes me a professional (I know it's attitude more than money that makes one professional, but it seems nobody outside the industry knows that), then that means I am OFFICIALLY a professional actress.

And everybody who said I couldn't do this was -- as I suspected -- extremely wrong.

NaNoWriMo - Day 15

I'm really surprised how much I'm struggling with the novel this year. The setting, the genre, and the theme are all things I'm really passionate about, but I'm just lacking spark this year. I worked on the first, so I wasn't able to get the big head start that I usually do and that's come back to bite me in the butt. If I'm lucky, I'm closing one day ahead. I know most people would rejoice at even a one-day lead, but I've finished by this point multiple times in the past.

My plot feels slow. I didn't know what was going to happen when MMC got outside of the oxygen dome, but I wasn't too worried about it -- I figured my pantsing brain would just figure it out like it usually does. I've been here almost a week now and it just... hasn't. I spent three days with two characters in a circular theological argument that bored even me but multiplied the word count. I've even cited lengthy passages of Scripture (in said theological argument). I need to figure out what the next big plot point is, and I need to get my character there, emotionally. But I sit down to write and my brain just gives me static. I don't even feel despair about it, just apathy. There's just nothing in my brain, and it makes me sad. I had thought that doing little to no art for the better part of two years would have given my brain time to replenish its imaginative stores, but apparently this is not the case.

Anyway, I'd better get back to poking away at the story. Hopefully this blows over as Week Two wraps up and we head into Week Three.

Current word count: 26,340.