Music Day - She

Picture this.

North American Christian culture, 2003. At this time it was still a very common belief that video games of any kind were spawn of Satan himself. VeggieTales' Jonah movie was the only film that millions of Christian children had seen in theatres because all the others were demonic in some way (Harry Potter had magic, Star Wars had magic, The Lord of the Rings was simply 'too scary'...), and were you really a Christian if you didn't listen to Adventures In Odyssey every weeknight at seven o'clock?

Into this culture came a group of three women who found instant popularity with pre-teen girls with their inspiring, poppy, uplifting (in every sense of the word) melodies. Behind trendy, pop art album covers in bright purples, whites, yellows, and oranges, they sang catchy, bright songs with slick production. Were you really a Christian girl if you didn't have a ZOEgirl album in your CD wallet?

In 2003, ZOEgirl dropped their best -- sorry, third studio album, Different Kind Of Free. The pop sound had matured along with their listeners -- now solidly into their mid-teens -- and the record took on an acoustic R&B vibe (probably influenced by BeBe and CeCe Winans, Nicole C. Mullen, and Out Of Eden, who were all big names on Christian radio at the time). Even the bright colours of ZOEgirl's previous offerings were muted, with a palette of blues and greys decorating the album.

DKOF still offered uplifting, poppy lyrics in the first half of the album. The album kicked off with their trademark energetic songs of dedication to God. This is a simple goal, but difficult to execute well. Executing these well had always been ZOEgirl's strength.

But halfway through the album, the subject matter takes a wildly different turn. The electronic bass, staccato rhythm, and lower vocal register of Wait was the only warning the listeners got of the shift. It was skillfully subtle -- I doubt most people realised what Wait was about, as the topic of suicidal ideation was absolutely never touched in churches at the time -- but to those of us who knew, we knew. Those of us who already felt the cold tentacles of depression tightening around our souls and minds knew that song was for us.

In an artistic move both bizarre (given the subject matter) and necessary (given the parents of the target audience), the next song was perhaps the breeziest and most carefree song of ZOEgirl's entire career. Feel Alright was a stylistic, if less manic, throwback to Upside Down from their first album. It was also the song I skipped over the most (despite loving Upside Down when it first come out), because it was the least relatable and the least intellectually stimulating. But they had to put it there, because the following song was a doozy.

She was a slow burner for me. My best friend at the time, a year older than me and a pastor's daughter to boot, caught the significance of it immediately, but she had no way of expressing to me what she saw in her life and in the song. I found the song too slow and boring and brushed it off as album filler. But as our ways parted and I saw the absolute worst the evangelical church had to offer in the wake of my calling and my cousin's death, I began to see what she had seen... enough that when I found Daniel Amos' brilliant album Doppelgänger in 2013, I 'got it' immediately: the church of North America was extremely broken. In Doppelgänger, I could see the indictment of the church in the lyrics clearly. But ten years had passed by then, and I had forgotten about that soft little ZOEgirl song which had sharp teeth.

The other day, out of nowhere, my brain started feeding me lyrics: She's alone / Caught up in the undertow / Where it takes her no-one knows...

I started listening, and the rest of the lyrics arose from my dusty memories from over half my lifetime ago. Then I dug the track out of the bottom of my iTunes and listened to it for real.

What a ballsy song.

To release a song not only about teenage sex and pregnancy out of wedlock, but to also use that song to point the finger directly at the failings of the church on an album specifically targeted to young teenage girls would have been CCM PR suicide if not handled with kid gloves. So they tucked it in one of the 'filler' slots (it's track eight out of eleven), mellowed down the music so it wouldn't attract immediate attention, and trusted God would open the ears of those who needed to hear. My guess is that most listeners, like me, assumed it was a typical 'don't have sex before marriage' song (yes, those are a thing in CCM), and completely failed to see that they weren't placing the blame on the girl, but on the church that didn't have compassion on her.

She went to them for help

But blindly they cast the first stone

They could have taken her in

But instead they left her on her own

All alone...

And it worked. No feathers were ruffled, DKOF is still regarded as their best album, and ZOEgirl made another successful album before calling it quits.

I just... I am in awe if the finesse they needed to pull this off, especially at that time, and it worked. Nowadays critique on Christian culture in Christian music is more common (and still sorely needed), but at that time for a Christian band to make a song blaming the church instead of the girl was revolutionary. It was countercultural. It could have ended their careers. They could have been excommunicated from the church for a song like that, but they did it anyway. They hid a scathing critique in plain sight for those of us who needed the warning the most and they lived to tell the tale. And those teenagers in 2003 are now the ones calling out the hypocrisy of the evangelicals.

Maybe that's why I can never quite let this group go. I've always chalked it up to nostalgia (which is definitely a factor in my enduring love for them), but the more I listen with my jaded adult ears, the more I realise there was more to this little pop-vocal group than any of us realised.

Set Apart - The Silverwind Album Nobody Talks About

21 June 2021, 12.39pm.

Today I'm going to show a little love to the bastard Silverwind album.

I'll be honest... I hated this album when I first heard it. Hated it. I had been a Silverwind fangirl for several years by that point, and fourteen-year-old me wanted nothing more than to be the next Betsy Hernandez. Her voice is still my favourite female voice ever, in any genre, bar none.

When I plunked Set Apart (1986) onto the turntable and heard thick alto harmonies coming through the speakers, I felt betrayed. It was like I'd been punched in the gut. It took me over five years to realise that actually, the hyped-up '80s tracks and the sweet, calming harmonies that balanced them were really quite good. Had the voice been Betsy Hernandez's, this would have instantly become my favourite album of all time, but the shock of the very different voices made this album a slow burner. And, from what I can gather online in all my music-nerd groups, I was not the only one who felt this way.

Certainly, the trio that replaced Hernandez, Banov, and Gramling were very talented singers who blended beautifully, but the change in sound was so sudden and drastic that it was hard to look past the change to the album itself, or even the strengths of the singers that replaced the original three. It's no surprise that despite the beauty of the songwriting, the harmonies, and the instrumentation, this was the last album to bear the Silverwind name -- the change was simply too great to overcome in one album, and in the music business, one album is all it takes to sink you as a recording act. The producers tried to soften the blow by having Betsy Hernandez sing guest vocals on two of the songs, but it was too little, too late.

And yet... this album is a banger. It was ahead of its time while keeping one foot firmly planted in the gentle Maranatha keyboard/string machine sound a CCM audience would be looking for. In fact, the production and arranging was so cutting edge for the time that if you were to play me this album for the first time with no background information and ask me what year it was from, I would guess 1989. The saxophone sounds, the woodwind-esque keyboards, the synth stings, the occasional squarewave bass, the very electric guitar -- all these were motifs that were not yet mainstream in 1986. The opening track (I'm Forever Yours) may have the biggest drums in CCM this side of Mylon LeFevre and Broken Heart's Crack The Sky. In fact, the drums are a huge part of the entire record -- even the mellow songs. Just listen to Heart Of Love and tell me you can't see that song in front of a live audience of thousands having the absolute time of their lives.

Lyrically, this is still very much a Silverwind album. Simple, honest lyrics of childlike wonder and heartfelt praise still abound here. Most of the songs were still written by the Hernandez and Hernandez husband/wife team -- in fact the clarity and quality of the lyrics here takes a marked leap. This album is full of striking lyrical gems, such as But once you've seen the sun, there isn't anyone / Who is able to persuade you it's not there... (I Believe In You), or  No manufactured fake or forgery / No counterfeit could make a fool of me / I've found a love so real / A power I can feel... (Heart Of Love -- this bit is just so fun to sing), or God's heart was broken to make me my own... (Crystal Heart) or They say you're wise as you grow older / But all I know is I've grown colder... (First Love).

As to the quality of the voices -- the harmonies are still catchy and dare I say addicting. They're just different, and once you get past that, they're truly enjoyable. Silverwind has often been called the 'Christian ABBA' due to the soaring harmonies, and that nickname is still relevant even with the personnel change. Even this is actually a step up from the previous album, By His Spirit. BHS relied heavily on Hernandez, with the other two members singing lead on only one song each (though to be fair, who wouldn't give in to the temptation to feature such an angelic voice so much?). In Set Apart, vocal duties are pretty much divided equally between the women, even within individual songs, and one hears some lovely male solos on Side B (First Love is a beautifully emotional performance). Older Silverwind relegated the harmonies largely to choruses, but Set Apart Silverwind used them everywhere, and it made their swan song truly shine. If you hold out through the initial style shock until the penultimate track (I Believe In You), you'll be rewarded with a strong and powerfully-sung glimpse of classic Silverwind.

It was really context that sunk this album. If it hadn't been released under the Silverwind name, with all of the sonic and vocal expectations that came with that name, I daresay this album would have blown up. This was the most rocking female-led album in mainstream CCM at the time (Leslie Phillips' magnum opus The Turning was not yet released, and Margaret Becker wouldn't make her debut for another year), and definitely the hardest-hitting worship record to date (Petra's Petra Praise... The Rock Cries Out was still three years away). Yet it remains the only album of Silverwind's catalogue that has never seen a CD release and consistently gets either hated on or not mentioned at all among fans of the group.

It's really a shame that this record didn't have a better chance at life. It's a really strong album in almost every respect, and I'm glad I stuck with it long enough to see that. I encourage you to do the same.

You can listen to it on YouTube here.

Music Day - Reality

Like any good Christian '90s kid, I grew up on a steady diet of Newsboys, Audio Adrenaline, and dc Talk on the radio (you know, back when 'Christian radio' was at least palatable). The thing is, when you grow up surrounded by something, you trade freshness for nostalgia.

This song was ubiquitous in my early childhood circles (so, church and home), to the point it was just part of the landscape, part of the air I breathed as a six-year-old. I was barely aware that I even knew of this song until over ten years later when I bought a Newsboys greatest hits album after attending one of their concerts on a whim. Even then, this song remained background noise -- just part of the culture that I still had one foot in.

The other day, though, I suddenly remembered the Newsboys existed and played this album off the cuff. This song stood out to me.

It's little secret that I've lived my life so far in a way very similar to the runaway in the song -- constantly out of money, constantly traveling/moving around and involved in odd-sounding activities that concern the people who feel some obligation to show concern for my well-being. Even in this song, the protagonist has performing arts-based aspirations and admits to being malnourished -- these could be subplots taken directly from my own story.

Runaway

Where's your head

Dreamers' dreams

Are grounded

In reality that comes from above

In this simple lead-in to the chorus that takes all of ten seconds, Steve Taylor deftly sneaks in a very powerful truth that we often forget -- the same God who created our dreams also created reality. Christians especially tend to think that dreams and reality are two separate (and mutually exclusive) things, and rarely (if ever) stop to realise that God is in charge of both. The same God who created the runaway dreamer created the reality around them, and therefore the dream will only make sense in God's timing.

This is something I've been pondering a lot for myself lately. I started exploring that in my Desert Rose post from a few weeks ago, and I feel this song continues the thought. For my entire life I've been pushing for more experience, more practice, more education, more opportunities for my art. And those aren't necessarily bad things -- in fact, personal development in the area of one's calling is the best way to make the most of the gift you've been entrusted with when it's really time to shine. But I was starting to get frustrated with how little was happening -- why I was still languishing in the back of the ensemble despite 97% of the directors I've worked with noting both my skill and my ability to learn things accurately and quickly (which is almost more important than pre-existing skill) -- why I'm living in a tiny dying town in the literal middle of nowhere with very few opportunities to practice, let alone learn more. I had worked so hard and invested so much, and none of it seemed to amount to anything. It was like my gift was being wasted. And my increasing age was only fueling the fire of frustration.

At the time I wrote the Desert Rose post, I prayed that if God really wanted me to be an artist; if He had truly called me to be a dancer, that He would provide opportunities, because I sure as heck wasn't finding any. For perhaps the first time in my life, I stopped trying to make stuff happen. I was just too worn out to do it anymore.

Last week a prominent figure in the tap dancing world who I auditioned for exactly once two and a half years ago messaged me completely out of nowhere saying she was just starting up a Zoom class that would be right around my level (based on what she was seeing on my Instagram) and would I be interested? She even readily negotiated a payment plan that worked for us. My husband agreed immediately. I don't even have to pay gas money to drive two hours to the nearest class -- all I'm paying is the tuition. This is exactly the kind of opportunity I've always dreamed of but either was too far away or didn't have a consistent enough income to support it.

Perhaps the reality is that I am called to dance after all... but I had to live in the reality that comes from above.

Now for the song itself.

The Newsboys' glory years were marked by a brightness in the drums and a freshness in the bass paired with melodies just catchy enough to be fun and not annoying. The Australian accents and Steve Taylor's unique (and brilliant) approach to song lyrics didn't hurt anything either.

For this song, Taylor and Furler peek into the letters of a runaway sending letters home to their parents, attempting to soothe their fears (read: keep them off their back) while subtly asking for money to fund their sketchy-sounding exploits (they may or may not have quite literally joined the circus). The thing with Steve Taylor's writing is it's almost funnier to read the lyrics in the liner notes than it is to hear them in the song. I'm very willing to bet that nobody else could write a serious song about God's timing and guidance and include lines like lent the money you sent me to the clown with the knife or could you find a better photo for the milk carton backs? and make it work. The pair also prominently features a line ripped directly old of a Baptist hymnal -- trust and obey; there is no other way (the hymn continues 'to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey'), mostly because it supports their point, but no doubt the chance to annoy all the anti-rhythm-section Baptists was a clincher. And I am very certain that no other band could have managed to pull off this song with the right mix of light humour and serious exhortation -- too much seriousness and the brilliant writing would have fallen flat. Too much lightness and the point would be gone (which would also have been a disservice to the writers).

The song is almost surprisingly fast. One doesn't notice it really until they near the ending, when the chorus repeats. It's a testament to the band's skill that the listener doesn't feel 'rushed.'

Musically, this is Newsboys in their prime. This is the sound and styling that made them CCM superstars and cemented their legacy. This song was a mega-hit in CCM in the mid/late-'90s, and it was still second to Breakfast, which appeared on the same album and may very well be the most well-known Newsboys song of all time (also probably holds the world record for 'most breakfast puns in one song'). It also features Taylor/Newsboys' trademark clapping section (this time a nearly a cappella repeat of the chorus accompanied only by clapping the rhythm).

Title: Reality

Artist: Newsboys

Album: Take Me To Your Leader

Year: 1996

iTunes here; YouTube here.

In the reality that comes from above

God is calling -- there's no greater love

It's His reality that welcomes us back...