Goals 2022

This is probably the hardest goals post I've made. Last year I skipped it entirely because pandemic, but this year CoVID-19 vaccines are a thing and things are opening up a little bit. And that means more opportunities are coming back.

So. Goals.

- National Choreography Month in January (more on that here). I'd ideally like to choreograph at least two pieces this month. I've almost certainly decided on one of them.

- 14 dances in 12 months. Managed 12 in 12 almost by accident in 2021, and I'd like to do that again this year... but up the challenge just a little bit. No sense getting stagnant and predictable.

- Finally publish my Patreon page that's literally done, just sitting and waiting to be published. I've been putting this off because I would first need to research if income from a Patreon page would affect my husband's benefits and that is a very daunting task, especially given the lack of communication we get from his case worker, not to mention the insufferably condescending attitude they give us when we finally do get through to them. But I'll need to publish this page, especially if I want to get the training necessary to pull off a full-length show by the time I'm thirty.

- Take some freakin dance classes. Do them online downstairs in the apartment laundry room if I have to.

- Make at least two dance films. Preferably at least one of them with more than one dancer (or at least with a dancer who isn't me).

- Do a live performance of my choreography somehow, somewhere. Enter stuff into showcases and competitions that I can find all over the province. Stretch goal: stage a full-length (possibly recital-style) show.

- Actually (re)-learn some of my dances. Make a learning/rep-building schedule and actually stick to it this time. (The main goal here is to have a full-length show at least learned, if not completely ready to stage, by the end of the year.)

I really don't know how I'm going to do this one. I've tried this every year since 2018 and it still hasn't stuck. I get frustrated with myself so easily and when I do manage to focus and silence the self-hatred long enough to actually learn a piece, I get bored of doing the same dances over and over. It's also really hard to practice consistently enough to learn rep when you have no consistent practice space and work saps all of your energy.

- Busk at the farmer's market this year. It's extra cash, plus practice. It's perfect -- if only I didn't have this crippling self-doubt (thanks, college) that makes me think literally everybody at the market is going to think I'm just an annoying untalented poser and an embarrassing waste of skin. (Plus, this might also throw a wrench into my husband's benefits and dealing with his case worker is not a fun time... see above.)

- Do at least one theatre show. Last time I performed onstage was February 2020 -- less than three weeks before the shutdown. Auditions are starting to open up, slowly. I did one this past spring, but then Alberta locked down again so the show got cancelled.

- Continue posting more on this blog. I'm liking the pace I've been doing lately and I'd like to keep that up. Some of my struggle with that is just a mental block that anything I post will just result in more emotional abuse from extended family. I've really pushed this blog back into hiding to avoid some of those repercussions, and that's okay. I would rather write freely on here than have to censor myself and my work to make random people happy.

- Do NaNoWriMo again in November. I'll have to come up with an idea though.

- Publish a short story.

- Write a short story in German.

- The perennial favourite: actually finish a Kyrie revision.

- Be more intentional about getting back into the Bible and praying. But more than that, actually implementing things that it says, like being thankful, not complaining, doing justly, loving mercy...

- Pick up an instrument. Either bass or piano. Learn enough to enjoy noodling. Don't get caught up expecting to become famous.

- Save up a $1000 emergency fund -- and then only touch it for ACTUAL emergencies. Remember that 'chips' or 'I forgot to take hamburger out of the freezer so I don't know what to do for dinner' is not an emergency.

- Make the sweater that I've been meaning to make for myself.

- Make birthday presents for all my siblings as needed.

We're already off to kind of a rough start, as I've managed to get a concussion and have missed all but two workdays of this pay period. We're just barely treading water financially, and now this. Is it madness to start dance classes on 8 January -- both from a concussion standpoint and a financial standpoint? Is my dream dead in the water -- again? I've already missed two years of dance, and I'm tired of not having it in my life. But can I really justify signing up for dance again when we're going to be late on our rent and I'm going to be getting less than $230 on my next paycheque?

I guess it's still better than the annual lung infection I used to get every single year at this time. Thanks, masks.